The Year of the Snake: Heebie jeebie horoscope


My daughter with an anaconda. Why?

Thank you, Chinese horoscope, for raising my heebie jeebie level for the year.

 I don’t like snakes.

I attribute my aversion to snakes to biology. Our biological defensive systems kick into gear when something in our environment darts at us quickly, like snakes do when attacking. Nature programs us to avoid creatures that could kill us, like these snakes, for example.

I don’t fight this biological reflex. I submit to it. Why go near snakes? They belong in the environment over there, eating mice, or whatever. I don’t need to touch them. Snakes don’t want me to touch them, and I’m happy to respect their wishes. A visit to the snake dens in Manitoba is not on my vacation list.

And now, Chinese horoscope, you bring me the Year of the Snake. You bring me a whole year of slithering, sliding contemplation. You bring me a whole year of  skin-crawling heebie jeebies.

Oh, I know snakes have redeeming qualities. National Geographic even courteously outlined the parallels between the virtues described in horoscope predictions and real snakes.

I thank snakes for keeping mouse and slug populations in balance, as long as the snakes perform those duties over there. I admire their striking appearance, as long as I view it over there. I appreciate their caution and hunting efficiency, as long as I can appreciate it while snakes are over there.

So, dear Chinese horoscope, I will live this year at arm’s length. The Year of the Snake will be over there, and I will be over here, writing away and waiting for the Year of the Horse.

6 thoughts on “The Year of the Snake: Heebie jeebie horoscope

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